Death can be a difficult topic to share with children of any age. For young children the finality of death can be hard to comprehend, and for older children it can be a roller coaster of emotions as they try to cope with the loss of a loved one.
The books collected here are a selection of the books that we have that look at death and grief. There are many more books available. You may also be interested in looking at the website for A loving left with me, which is a bibliography which looks at death and grief in books for children, teenagers, and their parents.
Drop dead
Babette Cole
Gran and Grandad are both old and wrinkly - but they didn't start out that way. They have grown and changed over the years, but now that they are old they are getting closer to death. This is a very light hearted look at death and can help children to understand that there is a cycle to life - that everyone is born, grows old, and then dies (and comes back as chickens?).
Reviewed by Erika.
The grandad tree
Trish Cooke; illustrated by Sharon Wilson
This is a sweet story that will appeal to younger children which looks at life and how there is a time for people to grow, a time for them to live, and a time for them to die. The illustrations are bold and colourful - yet they also contain loads of love. Recommended for children aged 5 and older who are curious about death or who have a grand parent who is ailing.
Reviewed by Erika.
Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs
Tomie De Paola
A worthy holder of the classic tag, recently reissued in full colour to celebrate the 20th anniversary. The book tells the true story of young Tommy and his best friend, his great-grandmother Nana Upstairs. Tommy's mother explains that Nana Upstairs will never come back "[e]xcept in your memory. She will come back in your memory whenever you think about her. "When Nana Upstairs and, years later, Nana Downstairs, dies he sees a falling star - "Perhaps ... a kiss from Nana Upstairs."
Reviewed by Annie.
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Always and forever
Alan Durant; illustrated by Debi Gliori
Otter, Hare, and Mole live with Fox in a little house in the woods. They all bring something special to their little family. Hare looks after the garden, Otter cooks their meals, Mole makes sure that everything works, and Fox was like a father to all of them. Then Fox got sick, and one day while he was walking in the woods he died. The rest of the family is very sad and they have trouble remembering all the good things about Fox - until Squirrel comes for a visit.
This is a heart warming and touching story about the death of a family member that will help prepare children for the death of a family member, and may help them understand more about death after someone they know has died.
Recommended for ages 4 +.
Reviewed by Erika.
Tom's story
Mandy Hager; illustrated by Ruth Paul
This is one of the most amazing books for helping children to understand the death of a parent and to help them understand that what they are feeling is normal. There are several stages of grief and this book helps children to understand that feeling angry and sad are normal - and makes them understand that what they are feeling will not last forever.
This book is highly recommended for children 4 years old and older who have lost someone that they love.
Reviewed by Erika.
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Hine's rainbow
Judith Bryers Holloway; illustrated by Phillip Paea
Available in English and Te Reo.
Hine is special to her family even though she has to use tokotoko (crutches) to walk. Hine lives with her grandmother but spends time with the rest of her family - but then one day she dies and the whole family comes together at the marae for her tangi. This is an amazing New Zealand book that deals with the death of a family member from the point of view of another child.
Although this book is a picture book it is recommended for children 7 years and older because it is a long story for younger children to sit through in one sitting.
Reviewed by Erika.
Goodbye Pappa
Una Leavy; illustrated by Jennifer Eachus
Shane and Peter love their Pappa and are upset when he dies soon after a visit from them. The boys attend the funeral and then spend the night at Pappa's house. Their mother comforts them with the advice that they should "[t]hink of all the happy times you had."
A lyrical text with soft illustrations.
Reviewed by Annie.
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The sunshine cat
Miriam Moss; illustrated by Lisa Flather
A tender story with beautiful illustrations, this book details the relationship between and young family and their cat, Sunny. The realities of death are explained well in a conversation between the children and their parents following Sunny's death after being hit by a car. The bond between the children and their cat is acknowledged. There is also a discussion about getting a new kitten, the decision made is made by all the family.
This book is highly recommended, as it is one of the few books for the preschool age group that explains the realities and finality of death.
Reviewed by Annie.
Old Pig
Margaret Wild; illustrated by Ron Brooks
Old Pig and her Granddaughter lived together and did everything together. They shared a little house, they shared the chores, and they shared all their meals. Then one day Old Pig does not get up and Granddaughter is worried. Then Old pig starts to say goodbye to the town and prepares for her death.
A lovely story for older children age 6 and older.
Reviewed by Erika.
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